My Vincent

...this story was written on September 8, 2003. I saw it when am scanning pics for the preparation of may wedding..

He was good in dancing, I like the way he moves his body. Aside from that he’s talented, fond of reading and sports. But it’s not his talent what I’m longing for. He’s a guy with looks that makes every woman glance his way. It’s not his talent or the way he act and his looks what I really admired. I’ve just don’t know what was the reason behind. I’ll keep him with the name Vincent. I never notice him during my first few weeks, since it is my first semester in the institution. My mind was preoccupied by the thought of that name “Vincent”, my classmates keep on teasing me on that guy wherein fact I haven’t yet meet him.
But it came to pass that time grant me to be acquainted with him, as well as his friends, classmates, and relatives.  Tsk… it all then started. My heart began to smile. Most of the time, I secretly found him staring at me and quickly shift to anything when I use to look at him. He was also in the place where I was in, even in my class. The crucial fashion that I don’t get is “For whom is it!” Honestly, I would basically think “I” can do something about it or it has something to do with me.
But it almost month now, still with the same routine, still he sends me sweet smiles, unpredictable looks and any complementary phrases. That’s all and nothing really more. Until I unnoticeably and naturally feel different towards Vincent. It was late when I realize that it is love. Now, as we are getting to know each other better, he started to talk and act bitter. I don’t feel he cares for me. It would make me think he was just doing things for fun and he’s not in fact serious. I don’t know, maybe Vincent is the kind of man who was not “showy” or fond of pretending and cannot express directly what was on him. I don’t know what his plans are. But upon such realization, there was one conclusion I’ve drawn – When you love, prepare yourself to be hurt.
I live with so much fear this time. Fear that Vincent comes just to say goodbye, fear with his smile that might let me cry next day. But that fear suddenly transmits into excitement when one day…
“Jen, are you free tonight?”, Vincent whispered.
A deafening silence covered us. I can’t say a word. I guess my heart was pumped with hammer.
“I’ve thought it hundred times and now it’s fixed, I’d really wanted to talk to you since then”, he added.
I raised my head, “Okay!”, I simply said.
And dreams come true. The long time longitudes had finally been mine. Vincent and I sharing good and bad times. Talking for just the two of us. I have nothing to ask for but we’ll last forever.
But like a song you sing, there would time to end; like the sunshines, there would come a sunset; like a dream on the night, there would time to awake. Sad to say, that was happened to me. The dreams I thought that would become real were just illusions of a dream. Illusions that ever be illusions and can’t ever be real.
Yes, illusions generated from the thoughts and longings of you. I can only dream that someday love rest on both you and me.

Love till it hurts. But, do not wait that HURT comes to your health, so go into insurance leads.